Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Cooking dogs, shopping and dancing . . .

You fucktardy little squidge, you cause me such grief, inserting yourself where not needed, and deserting me when there is a need to pause. You're that irritating little grain of sand against a naked buttock scritching, scratching, rolling before capture. You're that grating little drip of annoyance. Friend to some, enemy to most. You're so insignificant and unimportant flying solo. So vital and necessary in a crowd. Yet without you, meaning is lost. Pace is fast and, worst of all, my words don't make sense. Spritely, evasive, overpowering little shit. Insert yourself where you shouldn't be and remain absent when you're needed.  Sounds like some men I know.

Apparently, I cannot use commas.
Apparently I, cannot use commas.
Apparently I cannot, use commas.
Apparently I cannot use, commas.

The interfering little squabittys can take a swan dive off the Coat Hanger for all I care!  And they'll barely make a Doppler effect.  One of the awesome things about the English language is, (oops, there I go again) you can fuck it up in so many ways yet it remains comprehensible. (Should I have put a comma after 'yet'?)

Besides, picking up grammatical errors is what proofreaders are for.

Oh fuckit to Friday, I ended the tirade on a preposition.

No wonder I'm not getting too many call backs.

5 comments:

  1. I love ALL your commas. But did you forget to put periods after the words 'commas'? Or, was that, on, purpose. -J

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  2. Hey, I'm not seeing the problem here. I love me a good roasted rottweiler.

    Proofreading? Oh, is that what it's called?

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  3. woohaha. you need some comma sense

    is the baino going on a rant? is this the NEW rant parade?

    ack

    grfndl

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  4. Thank you Ms Jayne, I have fixted the 'periods' which has a completely different connotation here.
    Onya Patti.
    Nah Tom, just bored, no Skype chat last night so had to do something with my spare time. There's nothing more uncomma than comma sense!

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