Friday, June 24, 2011

Where is My Mind?




Where is my mind? . . .Off with the Pixies. A durge for widows. Death knell for lovers and friends. Gone crazy so leave her be.. She's dull, needy, lacklustre. No play for dull girls.  

Where is my mind?  Floating upwards, zephyr bound on the Freemantle Doctor or Southerly Buster. Flighty and flustery like flying in a dream, skimming trees with toes. Not quite reaching its zenith but elevated. Before the fall that is.

Where is my mind? Hard landings like a lame duck in a pond of stagnant scum. Tangled in the weed, bound by fishing wire. Strangled in the stench. Held under by the firm hand of  faux authority and self-imposed restriction or think about it - a self-imposed lack of will to escape an even stronger willingness to submit. Slave to the music. Wage slave. Where's WIRES when you need them. 

Manipulation of the mind can be self-induced, self-destructive, self-willed. Blame others for the sword of Damocles but Damocles is dead. The sword an apparition. A dead legend. It's all your fault. Accept it, work with me baby.

Where is my mind? Somewhere in between elevation and depression. Saturated with the wrong thoughts. Distracted by shiny things. The equilibrium eluded.  Don't tell me to make lemonade when life gives me lemons. It still tastes sour no matter how much you sugar coat it. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Ha! Only the dead know for sure.

Where is my mind? Wondering now among the Koi. Light, floating, aqueous with a three second memory.  Lucky on the end of forgetful Pozzo's rope. Brilliant!  I wish I was a fish. There's some virtue in forgetting. If only I didn't want to remember.


10 comments:

  1. Held under by the firm hand of faux authority and self-imposed restriction or think about it - a self-imposed lack of will to escape an even stronger willingness to submit....whew love the intesity and imagery...some great prose helen

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  2. Love the last line "if only I didn't want to remember". That could be my mantra.

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  3. Sometimes you have to look REALLY hard for the wires, but somehow, they always appear. -J

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  4. Hah. Not bad. That wasn't so hard, was it?

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  5. Your mind is obviously right where it belongs, neither missing nor mad, but sitting squarely in the seat of creative authority. Reading this, I heard some steely-spined woman declaring, "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore."

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  6. wondering among the koi!? wow, what poetry. I read little pieces of you in this, and me and everyone. it is a little bit sad, no?

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  7. I've often asked myself this same question. Your answer is very thought provoking, and I relate to it in a big way. That "self induced" manipulation of the mind is way too familiar.

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  8. I love this song. I have written many a story and even titled one after this.

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  9. I’d come to recognize with you on this. Which is not something I typically do! I really like reading a post that will make people think.

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  10. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

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